Have you ever been excited to give someone a present, only to be disappointed by their response? The gift may be thoughtful, but the recipient may not value presents as much as you had hoped.
As humans, wee tend to show love in the way we most enjoy receiving it.
If you place high value on giving presents your love language is likely “Gifts.” But what if there were a more effective way to communicate your love to that person?
5 Free Ways to Get It Right This Valentine’s Day
Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, 5 Love Lanuages, has sold over 7 million copies and explores five different love languages.
First, take this online quiz with a spouse or friend to discover your own love languages. And help your children to learn more about themselves with their own quiz.
This is an overview of the 5 love languages. Best of all, these ideas are FREE!
1. Words of Affirmation
These people value:
- encouraging, sincere words
- conversation that is not rushed
- consistent feedback
- praise in front of others
Practical ideas:
- write an encouragement note
- e-mail or text positive words
- phone to say you are thinking of them
- give meaningful cards or notes often
2. Quality Time
These people value:
- a sense that you are not too busy
- togetherness
- focused attention
- shared memory making
Practical ideas:
- ask good questions
- schedule regular time together
- create special traditions
- share experiences such as hobbies
3. Physical Touch
These people value:
- meaningful touch
- frequent hugs
- pressing pause in order to be close physically
Practical ideas:
- giving shoulder rubs or back scratches
- holding hands on a walk
- offering items that are soft such as cozy blankets
- sitting close together during a movie
4. Acts of Service
These people value:
- others helping to lighten their load
- sensing they are important because of a task done for them
- being surprised by a kind act
Practical ideas:
- give extra TLC during illness
- take a job off their “to do” list
- help with a specific task at school or work
- prepare a favourite snack or meal
- offer to run an errand
5. Gifts
These people value:
- visual expressions of love
- tokens of affection no matter the size/price
- thoughtful items that show you were thinking about them
Practical ideas:
- listen carefully for hints about what they value
- take special care when selecting presents
- save up to buy a special gift
- giving small, thoughtful items regularly
Gary Chapman challenges all of us with this final thought: “The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision every day.” And this video shows what these daily decisions can look like, even during a tough spot.
Learning what others truly value will help us speak each other’s love language and strengthen relationships.
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